Isolation. The Human Condition?

For a moment, fear grips my breath making it hard to breathe. Fear of isolation. Fear of being alone. What does this all mean? Social distancing has become a term that is drilled into our language. Drilled into the essence of what it means to be alive. Reminding myself to breathe and focus on anything positive has become a routine, almost involuntarily occurring at random intervals.

A sweet squeal of delight breaks my thoughts and my fear drips away as my 7 month old baby boy looks up at me and smiles. He wiggles his chubby arms to remind me that I am here to be his joy and safeguard. What he doesn’t realize is that his joy and innocence to the world around him, is what constantly reminds me that  I have a purpose beyond myself.

I often wondered as a girl what it would be like to be a mother. As the youngest of seven children, in a blended family, I had a longing desire to have a little person to play with. Almost as if my purpose was to be a mom. Now I have four beautiful children and everyday I am reminded that I have a greater purpose beyond myself. When I struggle with life, finding another breath, seeing the chaos of the world around, the reminder that I am needed, that I am loved, that I have a greater purpose, is what keeps me moving forward.

As for today, I continue to breathe and take life by each moment. Focusing on little things--a ray of sunshine, the birds chirping outside, the neighbor taking a walk, the laughter of my children--, keeps the thoughts swirling in my head off the chaos around me and focused on the beautiful moments in front of me. I can’t help but wonder if we are learning to care, learning to appreciate, learning to love, all over again because we as a human race have lost connection with what it means to be human.