Basic Necessity.

Hit with the reality of needing to find self compassion, I have begun to dig into every resource I can find to better myself. I constantly tell participants in my QPR trainings that before you help someone else, make sure you have the mental capacity to help. You can’t give from an empty well because when you are empty, all you are able to spread in negativity and toxicity.

I am terrible at taking my own advice, but after going to the doctor last week and learning that I have extremely low blood pressure caused by dehydration, I need to find a way to take care of my basic needs. Self-care is something that is pushed around us. I hear the words, “self-help”, “self-care”, “me-time”, used in a variety of ways, but have I ever really taken the time to get to know what those words mean and the potential impact if I don’t take care of myself?

I was diagnosed with TB in November of 2019. I had to self isolate shortly before the pandemic hit. I was exposed about 3 years prior to the disease becoming active. If you don’t know much about TB, it is a very slow growing disease that the immune system can typically keep dormant in your system. However, if your immune system is compromised, the disease can creep into your lungs and can cause some serious damage. My treatment was 6 months, numerous blood draws, chest x-rays, MRI’s, and several other unpleasant medical procedures.

Why?

Because my immune system was compromised because of stress. I have always believed that I have a super power of handing multiple huge things all at once. I have also recently learned that trying to do too much all at once can also be a trauma response.

So after being knocked off my galloping horse who was running through lava, I realized that if I don’t take better care of myself, I could end up with a lot more health issues that might end in a longer treatment, bigger impact, and could seriously affect my long term health. Now my choices to not take care of myself are affecting my family, my kids, and my daily life.

I don’t know about you, but I’m terrible at starting something new. I’m starting small. My goal: drink water. That’s it! I made myself a chart that I plan on adding to as I can master each small self-care goal. I have seen a meme floating around facebook that asks, “When did taking a shower become self-care?” I thought that was outrageous until I started reflecting on my own self-care strategies and realized that sometimes self-care starts with taking care of basic needs until those basic needs become more realistic habits such as drinking water. Once those are mastered, the “bigger” self-care goals that might be taking a walk, reading a book, or finding an hour to ourselves, can be added to those basic needs.

I hope that I can reframe self-care and find a way to make it a part of my basic necessities. After all, self-care is a basic necessity.